How to Confess Your Crush in Style: 10 Expert-Approved Ways to Say “I Like You”
How to Confess Your Feelings to Your Crush A Step-by-Step Guide
Tips for Confessing Your Feelings to Your Crush
Ah, the age-old dating dilemma: How can I turn a crush into a real-deal relationship? While the whole, “How do I get him to notice me?” thing may feel a tad middle-school-coded, the truth is that trying to figure out how to let the person you’re into know that you’re, well, into them, is a conundrum we never quite grow out of. No matter how much older and wiser we may get, questions like, “How do I tell him I like him?” and “What if she doesn’t like me back?” are ones even the best of us still find ourselves asking friends in the bathroom at high-school dances, over dining-hall breakfast the morning after college parties, at happy hour with co-workers, or on the couch in our married BFF’s living room.
Sure, the default advice your happily partnered friends will likely dole out sounds simple: “Just tell them how you feel!” But listen, we get it: Vulnerability is hard! Rejection is scary! That said, while we are all too familiar with the fears and anxiety that come with putting your feelings out there, we also believe there’s something incredibly empowering and sexy about embracing vulnerability in matters of the heart. Because yes, the rumors are true: Great things can happen when you open yourself up to them.
Sure, you could sit around just waiting for those great things to happen, or you could take matters into your own hands by being honest about how you feel. After all, the best way to find out how the person you’ve caught feels for actually feels about you is to fess up.
“You can overanalyze your crush’s non-verbal cues all day, but the only way to find out is to ask them,” says Niki Davis-Fainbloom, sex educator at Arya.FYI. Telling your crush how you really feel “is an excellent way to either find out that they are also into you or, if not, to have the information you need to move on,” she adds.
While, yes, rejection is always a possibility, it might help to think of telling your crush you’re interested in them as doing yourself a huge favor: It’s confidence-boosting and clarity-providing, regardless of whether it leads to your desired outcome. Not to mention, “It takes bravery to put your feelings out there,” says Fainbloom.
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That said, there are many ways to go about making that move—like, you don’t have to run up to your person and just scream “I LIKE YOU, OKAY?” to get the point across. (But if that’s your style, by all means, shout it from the damn rooftops.) To help ease some of the anxiety that comes with taking that first step, we’ve asked the experts for their top-tier advice on how to tell someone you like them. While there are all kinds of ways to deliver the news, just remember that pretty much every great love story begins with someone taking the (very scary, yet rewarding!) step of saying, in one way another, “Hey, I’m into you.” Read on for 10 expert-approved ways to say those four little words (that may or may not involve actually saying them).
1. It’s All About Body Language
Explicitly telling someone you like them can feel intense. It may also not feel appropriate for how well you know them, says Dating Coach Hayley Quinn. “If they’ve just caught your eye, or you’ve only exchanged a few words, it may feel more natural to use your body language to signal interest: Briefly maintaining eye contact, moving closer to them, smiling, or (if you’re in a crowded venue) a light touch to their arm are all good non-verbal cues that signal you’re open to getting to know them better,” she says.
2. Be an Active Listener
Is there really anything more attractive than a person who listens to what you have to say without interrupting or making it all about themselves? When you’re around your crush, make sure to ask them questions, be engaged, and show interest.
3. Compliments! Compliments! Compliments!
I mean, who doesn’t love ’em? (As a words of affirmation girlie who bagged a Leo—AKA the sign that loves being admired—I can confirm that this one works.)
“Compliments go a long way!” says dating coach Amie Leadingham. “If you think your crush is good at something, you could compliment them on their skills.” Just make sure you’re being honest and sincere, and don’t overdo it. Leadingham also recommends focusing on compliments that appeal to your crush’s character or talents, rather than focusing on just their looks or other superficial qualities. Noted!
4. Show Interest in Their Hobbies and Passions
Leadingham also recommends expressing genuine interest in your crush’s passions and hobbies. That said, it’s important not to go overboard and completely change your personality to match theirs, as that can come across as insincere. (It’s pretty obvious if you suddenly become an overly passionate member of some niche fanbase just to impress someone, you know?)
Instead, simply be open to learning about their interests and offer support. For example, if they’re part of a hockey league, you can suggest attending a game with your friends to cheer them on. If they’re really into pickleball and you’ve never played before, you can ask if they’d be interested in playing a game with a beginner like you.
5. Let Them Know You’re Single
Not to get all Kim K, “I’m dropping hints that I’m single” about it, but maybe that person you’re crushing on isn’t sure of your relationship status. Think about how often you’ve caught yourself closely examining your crush’s Instagram posts, trying to decipher clues and seeking input from your friends about the vibes in that photo with that random person. It’s possible they’re doing the same! So, whether it’s casually mentioning your solo travel plans or discussing your single status when it naturally comes up, informing them that you’re not currently in a (monogamous) relationship (and/or are otherwise very much ready to mingle!) is a good way to break the ice and invite some flirtier vibes to come your way.
6. Suggest a Low-Stakes Date
If you don’t have someone to go with to an event, ask your crush! (It can be “to this movie,” “to this new restaurant that opened,” “to this book club thing,” “to my friend’s open mic night.”) Dating expert and writer Amber Brooks adds that even something as simple as asking to grab food or drinks in the future is enough. “About three sentences is all that’s needed to get the point across,” she says. “Just remember to end on a question and leave space for your crush’s response.”
7. Hit Up Their Socials
Again, with the preface of Not Going Overboard, interacting online is a great way to move a conversation from DMs to texts (and, hopefully, real life). Let’s say your crush just posted a really cool nature shot of their trip to Colorado; swipe up and ask them how their hike was, tell them you’ve been dying to go, you want to hear about their trip over drinks, etc.
8. Consult a Mutual Friend
If you find yourself sharing social circles with a crush or recently crossed paths with a potentially special someone at a mutual friend’s gathering, it never hurts to express your interest in getting to know them better to said mutual friends. Trust me when I say this: There’s nothing a couple loves to do more than play matchmaker with their friends. Annoying? Sure, sometimes! Useful in this particular situation? Almost definitely, so take advantage!
9. Know That If You Don’t, Someone Else Will
As an unapologetically competitive Aries, knowing that someone else could be rubbing up on my crush is enough fuel for me to let them know that it should be me (and only me!) doing that. Know that if you take your time revealing your feelings, there’s a chance that someone else might swoop into your spot. Time is of the essence when it comes to dating. If you don’t make a move, then chances are someone else will. Just saying!
10. Embrace Rejection If It Comes
“Instead of seeing it as a personal rejection, understand that sometimes two individuals simply aren’t compatible and not a good fit,” says Leadingham. “Remember, it has nothing to do with your self-worth.”
Most importantly, while rejection is a natural part of life and love, remember that it’s always a risk worth taking. As they say, you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take—so go forth and shoot thy shot!
Morgan Sullivan, a Philadelphia-based freelance writer, covers everything from health and sex to fashion and beauty. Her work can also be seen in Bustle, Refinery29, Well+Good, and more. She’s a big fan of these things, in order: silk slip dresses, giving unsolicited life advice, working out, and Taylor Swift’s entire discography.
